Defining the Relationship

One of the things that we hear a lot about, particularly in church work, is to "build relationships." The problem arises in the fact that we never actually define what this means. And that is where things can off the rails. So what exactly is meant by "build relationships"?

Some people view building relationships as hanging out and shooting the breeze. They think that hanging out in the youth room is the way to do it. The desire is to become friends with the kids in the youth group and, in this way, earn the right to speak into their lives.

For me, building relationships is about caring for their spiritual lives. Yes, I want to spend time with the students, but I want that time to be intentional. I define "building relationships" as caring enough about the student to make sure they do not stay where they are spiritually.

If we really look at it, students in the youth group have enough friends. They have friends at home, they have friends at school, they have friends in the youth group. They do not need a 33-year old, married father of four trying to be their friend. That is just weird. What they do need, though, is someone who cares enough about them to show them what it is like to live the life of a 33-year old, married father of four. They need to see me love my wife and kids. They need to see how I react to situations and what my response will be. Yes, they need to goof off with me at times, but they need that to see that I am human. They need to see that the faith I purport to have is real and alive and strong enough to weather any situation.

Building relationships is key, but it is even more key to define what that looks like. Students don't need us to be their friends; they need us to love them enough to share Christ with them.

How would you define "building relationships"? Do you agree or disagree with how I defined it?

Rejoicing that Your Enemy is Alive

Yesterday, John Piper posted this on Twitter:

What if your least favorite person died? Then you saw your favorite person rejoicing that the least one was alive? Luke 15:32

I quickly grabbed my Bible to find out what the reference was. It was the last verse in the story of the Prodigal Son, where the father is rebuking the older brother for being upset that his younger brother had returned.

The thought shook me a little bit. Could I be willing to rejoice when my least favorite person is found to be alive? Would I be able to stand it knowing that my favorite person is rejoicing over this?

I guess this gets to the heart of forgiveness and grace. You see, there was a time when we were the enemies of God. We were opposed to Him, but yet He rejoiced when we were made alive again and at a cost to Him. God had to sacrifice His own Son to restore us to life. He let His Son take on our sins and He rejoiced in doing so.

An amazing thought, isn't it?

The Horrible News that Became the Best News Ever

In Awakening, we have been doing a series on Advent. As I was studying for the series, I realize that the news the angel brought to Mary and to Joseph in his dream was not really good news. Well, at least not at first. In fact, to them, it was probably the worst news you can receive. The only experience I have to equate it to was the time I found out I was being expelled from college (another story for another time).

Mary was a young girl, getting ready to be married. I can remember how excited my wife was when it came to planning our wedding. She spent hours looking at bridal magazines, going over all of the wedding related stuff. It was her favorite topic. I can imagine it was the same for Mary. She was probably thrilled over what was about to go on. Then, the angel shows up and delivers the news. BOOM! All of her plans and dreams, gone. In an instant. This was not good news.

Joseph was getting the final preparations ready for his wedding as well. I am sure he was just as excited, but, as a dude, he had to keep it under control. Then he gets word that Mary is pregnant. He knows he isn't responsible, so it has to be another man. Under Jewish law, he could have Mary executed. He didn't really believe that story she was telling about it being God's Son, did he? Then the angel arrived and confirmed it for him. This was not good news.

There were looks. There were whispers. They lost many friends. Joseph probably lost business because of this. But they continued on. They stayed together and Joseph protected Mary. He married her to protect what was left of her reputation. It was not an easy life.

The news from the angel was not good news. But it became good news. The baby that was born to Mary was Jesus, God in the flesh. He grew up sinless and died on the cross for our sins, the sins that separated us from God and kept from having a relationship with Him. He was bruised and crushed for our iniquities. God turned His back to Jesus in the hour He needed the Father the most. He was buried and, three days later, Jesus made an open mockery of sin and death by coming back to life. Jesus did all of this willingly and He extends the salvation from sin freely to those who believe, without any preconditions or requirements.

And that is how the horrible news became the best news ever.

Stuff Youth Pastors Like: Greg Stier

Have you ever met Greg Stier? He is one of the nicest guys I have ever met, but he has this intensity about him that makes me think he is going to rip my arm off at any moment. Greg is the president of Dare2Share Ministries, an organization in Colorado designed to train teenagers (and youth pastors) in the fine art of evangelism. Greg has a passion for seeing young people share their faith and he has a passion for seeing folks come to Christ.

I have had the opportunity to speak with Greg once, at a youth pastor training luncheon that Dare2Share hosted. We have developed a pseudo-relationship through Twitter and it was very exciting for me that he vaguely knew who I was.

Greg is the author of a number of books, but the one that I recommend is Outbreak. This was the book that introduced me to him and Dare2Share and it is one of the texts from the Youth Ministry course at Liberty University.

If you don't know who I am talking about, get to know him. Greg is a great dude and one who loves Jesus deeply. You can follow him on Twitter at @gregstier or read his blog at GregStier.org.

Greg Stier loves Jesus. Greg Stier loves evangelism. Greg Stier loves teenagers. Greg Stier loves youth pastors. And that, my friends, is why youth pastors like Greg Stier.

Greg Stier: Why America Has Not Been Reached

Greg Stier, from Dare2Share Ministries, is one of my favorite people. He and I have built a bit of a relationship through Facebook and Twitter and he is always a great encouragement to me. I have a number of his books and we have used his teaching series in Awakening.

Recently, in the Christian Post, Greg shared 7 reasons America has not been reached for the Gospel. Without reposting the whole article, here are the reasons he gave.

1. We have outsourced the work of evangelism.
2. We have lost our sense of urgency.
3. We are ashamed of the Gospel.
4. Many Christians can't explain the Gospel.
5. Church leaders are not leading the way.
6. We have forgotten how to pray.
7. Churches don't mobilize their young people to share the Gospel.

To read the full explanation of each statement, please visit Greg's post at the Christian Post.

What are your thoughts? Do you agree with these statements?